oh, to see the world though my eyes

NOT YOUR HEART

To fall in love with one person and get your heart broken is something that will happen throughout life, but to have your heart broken by the same person twice is just my own stupid fault…someone once said to never give up on someone you think about every day, but I think they were wrong because if I gave up in the first place I wouldn’t be so broken and defeated right now. I feel as though I’ve been hit by a train and was left there to suffer the consequences of playing on the tracks in the first place. See now love, that’s that tracks and what runs on those tracks can either be happiness and bliss or it can be pain and regret. I played on the tracks and got hit by a steamroller and the only passengers on it were pain and regret.

It’s never easy to let go of your first love, but to have to let go of them twice just shattered me. No matter what anyone says and no matter what you said, I tried every single day giving my heart out just to have it thrown back in my face by someone that was too selfish to realize how much he had an affect on me. “We tried” is what you said, but that’s a complete lie. In my opinion, trying doesn’t mean ignoring someone and shutting them out when being offered a hand of hope and help and just giving up. I fought until the end, but apparently what I was fighting for was pointless, because no matter how many times I was told you can’t love someone until you love yourself, I loved you more than anyone will possibly ever love you…and I showed it and gave it all away just to be broken into a million pieces…I took a chance on love and fully giving into it over a year ago, and my whole world fell apart once things ended, and it’s made me realize that a life without you is impossible for me, you still need to grow up and realize that for yourself. Your love went out the door when your focus turned towards yourself. My first love crushed me once then again not too long after, 

but this is what happens when you give into your heart and forget to let your mind do some of the thinking, I guess.

                                                               I was never really meant for love.

So I’m hearing and reading little 12-15 year old kids talking about being DTF(down to fuck) and all I have to say is wow. Kids these days are ridiculous, what the helll is this world coming to. Catch diseases and go die.

I fail to see how changing your facebook picture to that of a cartoon from your childhood in any way helps to fight against abuse…it’s seriously beyond me. It brings attention to the cause and all, and I understand that, but in any given situation when someone is being abused will a person think back to a person’s facebook page and remember the picture of a cartoon character and refrain from hitting someone…I don’t think so. If the reason for posting the picture was clearer then maybe the overall idea would come across better, but people are just changing their pictures and not recognizing the reason or cause for the change…in my opinion there are better ways to help the cause.

I had a discussion with my friend Sigh about wanting to build a time machine out of a DeLorean and she yelled at me telling me that I just wanted to drive…but in a DeLoreon I wouldn’t need roads because when that baby hits 88mph she’d be seeing some serious shit…I don’t want to just drive…I want to freaking time travel and shit.